We Came, We Saw, We Conked out.

Friday 8:15 flag off. We gunned the engine and set off frantically. We ride for 10 minutes heading towards the Hidden Valley Retreat near Karwar.

Something is wrong we are slowing down, D’OH ran out of fuel again. Glad we are staying on top of this situation and learning by our mistakes. We fill up with our reserve fuel vessel (a recycled bottle of water full of dirty fuel) and head to the fuel station. While Dirk so competently carries out the refuelling situation whilst Max does his bit by playing aerobe with Daisy and the D O double G, now that’s team work. Dirk takes control of the handle bars while waiting for Max to fish the aerobe out of a drain as the Dukes look on disappointingly. He flies past the dome headed imbecile and attempts a skid only to find the brakes have failed….again. Luckily we see the mechanics tuk tuk driving past and flag them in to fix the brakes for the fourth time. Same issue just a different town.

We set off 2 minutes later after a complete replacement of the back left brake. *POP POP POP*, Max and Dirk laughed insanely as they pulled over again to check the new engine noise. Oh boy, the exhaust had completely sheered just under the manifold. Oh well, drive on, the festering duo were slowly going deaf.

The new additions to our posse, Raj and James of Team Dick Shore, overtake to tell us they haven’t seen the Dukes for a good 5 minutes. Both of their phones were off so we turned around and drove for 10 minutes to find them at the side of the road inspecting the front of their chariot. The windscreen somehow no longer fits the vehicle…how can this be? On closer inspection we find the middle bar of the rickshaw bent and a kink just below window level on the front right section….I say again, how can this be??? The Duke bros fess up to going full wack over multiple speed bumps. After applying the miracle cure of gaffe tape to the windscreen and surrounding areas they gun the engine and attempt to drive on. Vrooom pop pop…first gear….clunk….Vrooom pop pop first gear…..clunk. The engine had been dislodged of it’s mounts sat at a curious angle and was useless.

Ok no one around; only thing to do is tow it. D’OH, rope left in porch in Britwell Road. But these were no ordinary rickshawists. They used all their professions and various qualifications and degrees to fashion together a toe rope made out of Raj’s paper thin water proof mac donated to all contestants from the sponsor of the rally CEAT. Ok cut the arm off and tie it here, put that bit round there and loop it around that…voila, a tow rope with a full 2 inch gap separating us. Amazingly it worked a treat. We moved along at a break neck 20 mph even managing to engage third gear which doesn’t work quite as well when not towing. As amazed as we were that our sturdy rope lasted we were mightily relived to see the support vehicle pull alongside us with a bunch of giggling Indians holding up some rope. We made the appropriate changes with the rope and plodded on. Bom BabeWatch Pulled, while James and Raj followed behind with Raj’s leg hanging out and pushing the Dukes up the Hills.

The tuk weighing (we reckon) around 300kg with a 140cc engine and a shot exhaust strained taking the load of the other tuk up the hills. Enjoying the deafening ambience of our engine so much, the Dogg was getting sleepy, he fought off the mechanical lullaby by taking in the amazing mountain vistas of the Arabian coast line for 40 minutes until we had reached the check point.

As the Dukes waited with the rally mechanics, Raj had found a local jelly neck who could take us to a local mechanic with a welder for the broken exhaust. As they pulled into the yard they saw that these guys just loved welding and were rebuilding a multitude of decrepit vehicles. They did an amazing job of welding the exhaust back together and in record time then putting the exhaust back on by more welding right next to our full fuel tank. Health and Safety? British Standards?…. Pah!!!!!
We went back to pick up the others and then went in search of our final destination, The Hidden Valley Resort.

Hmmm, Hidden Valley, that could be a clue. Couldn’t find it for toffee. But with Dirk and his gadgets at the helm we knew we’d find it eventually, even though he had found a new trick of flipping the back of the rickshaw out, whilst Dogg and Max held on for dear life in the back.
There it is, and quite an oasis. Landscaped grounds with chalets, bars and a swimming pool surrounded by a mountainous valley. We tried to get some beers down us to prepare for a big night. We were expecting the party of all parties with the Hanley brothers (of moustache fame) blowing something up but, but seemed everyone was too subdued through lack of sleep and the night fizzled out. Wearily the flabtastic 4 headed for bed.